Running my finger along the rim of my glass, I glanced around the empty bar with a small sigh. The lights were dim and the room smelt of cigarette smoke and yet, I still sat at the bar stool opposite of the door. Pushing my red hair off of my forehead, I brought the clear glass to my lips and allowed the alchohol to burn the back of my throat. Coughing slightly, I squeezed my eyes at the unwelcomed taste before motioning for the bar tender to get me another.
"I think you've had enough Hayles." Jeremy whispered, sliding onto the seat next to me with a small frown etched on his lips.
"You're not my dad Jerm." I mumbled, nodding my head at the bar tender as he placed my drink on the counter before me. Looking at the glass then at Jeremy, I allowed a slight smirk to grace me lips before picking up the glass and finishing the contents of the shot glass.
"Why are you doing this?" Jeremy asked, quickly becoming impatient with my actions.
"Why not Jer?" I retorted, slurring slightly before running my hands across my clammy face.
"It's not like you." He sighed, combing his fingers through his blonde fringe that rested upon his head.
"Maybe it's the new me." I shrugged, grabbing a pretzel from the bowl next to me and nibbling on it.
"You and I both know that's a lie now what's going on Hayley?"
"Did you ever think that maybe I was always this way?" I asked, nodding my head to the drum beat of the song playing from the speakers that lined the walls.
"The Hayley I knew wouldn't just give up." Jeremy whispered, shaking his head at me before motioning for the bar tender to return. Glancing at me one more time, Jeremy let out a deep breath as he turned his attention towards the man before us. "Don't give her anymore shots, she's cut off."
"C'mon Jerm!" I whined, throwing my hands up in the air as I watched one of my best friends leave the bar without another look towards my direction.
"Who needs him anyway." I mumbled, running my finger along my shot glass as I watched the bar tender walk away from me. "Can I have another one?"
"I'm sorry Ms. Williams." The man sighed, wiping a beer glass clean in his hands as he shook his head at me.
"Are you seriously going to listen to him?" I groaned, rubbing my face with my hands as the bar tender just walked away to cater to another guest.
"Why does everyone hate me?" I shouted at the ceiling, laying my head on the counter before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.
"Well isn't that a bit harsh Hayles."
Picking up my head, I turned around in my seat quickly only to freeze when I noticed the man standing before me. His hands were shoved into a pair of jeans that I always adored and his plaid shirt was rolled up to his elbows. His brown hair was perfectly tousled while his brown eyes stared down at me with a mixture of humor and disapointment.
"What do you want Josh?" I sighed, turning back around on my stool before I felt Josh take a seat next to me.
"Is that how you great all your friends, nowadays?" Josh chuckled, nodding his head at the bar tender who placed a beer in front of him.
"Jeremy call you?" I asked, eyes focused Josh's lips as he pressed the cold glass to his lips and swallowed some of the beer that I was dying to have.
"He might have." Josh smirked, placing the glass down before turning his body to face me. "What are we going to do with you, Hayles?"
"Let me have a drink." I shrugged, earning a loud laugh from Josh in return.
"I don't think so." Josh chuckled, pushing his glass of beer away.
"You're not my father Josh." I spat, glaring at the man next to be as he shook his head at me with a sullen laugh.
"No I'm not, but right now I'm someone who cares." Josh snapped, turning his head to me. "Because let's be real here Hayley, when is the last time you were around someone who cares about you."
"I hate you." I whispered, standing up and backing away from the bar with shaky steps.
"You hate the fact that you know I care and that deep down, you care for me too." Josh fought back, standing up quickly and staring me down.
"I don't need you to save me." I mumbled, crossing my arms over my chest as I felt the familiar sensation of tears begin to burn the corners of my eyes.
"Maybe I want to." Josh whispered, placing his hand on my arm and just like that, I broke. Heavy sobs erupted from my chest and my breathing grew weak as I collasped into Josh's arms. A broken version of myself stood before him, no longer caring about the wall that I tried so hard to keep intact. The past few months flew past me in a blur, all the drinks, sleepless nights, and the depression that slowly began to take it's toll on my life.
"I'm so sorry Hayley." Josh mumbled, voice muffled in my hair as he placed a gentle kiss on the crown of my head.
"I don't know who I am anymore." I cried, digging my fingers into the fabric of Josh's shirt as another sob left my lips.
"You are Hayley Williams." Josh said strongly, offering me a small smile as he turned his head to look at me.
"Josh..." I hiccuped, looking up at him with a watery smile of my own.
"You're my best friend Hayles." Josh whispered, brushing away a stray piece of hair that was sticking to my left cheek.
"Take me home, please." I whispered back, digging my head into Josh's neck as I felt him nod against my head.
"Let's go Hayles." Josh sighed, scooping my up in his arms before he started towards his car.
"Hmmm..." Josh hummed as he placed my down in the passenger seaat of his car.
"Thanks for saving me." I whispered as I felt my eyelids begin to drop before I fell into a deep sleep for the first time in months.
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall